That lame moment when you get SO annoyed by a mosquito flying close to your face, that when it lands on your face, you slap yourself, hard, only to find that that mosquito had made it's grand escape! >:(

An imaginary insight to a torn apart soul writhing for repair...

Ten thousand times I must have asked myself,
Ten thousand times the same damn thing,
"Why in the world are you so caged?
When you know you should free your inner self...
And keep it so lively a thing..."

To which my answers were nothing but silences...
As my mind fills itself with the worries of the three tenses...
With which my heart never agrees to realise,
The past is dead and the future is not to analyse...
The present embraces you and your entire senses,
With its warm and welcome hands, calling
Me into the world of my belonging...

I had a few misgivings to the world i am assigned...
It's not easy to brave the portals of a new planet altogether,
In some whimsical sort of fancy, the Gods must have designed,
Something for which i need a lot of courage to gather,

i fear sleep, to a drastic measure...
each day i sleep, i grow a day older,
in the memories of the folks i revere,
the folks to whom i though i adhere...

Some things seem so unexplained,
I simply have no clue why...
Can anyone see their dreams so planned,
But suddenly be deprived, leaving you hurtfully wry???
As you yearn for those smiles...
Those smiles which means the world,
Now abruptly gone,
And you feel like floating afar,
In a new world altogether...

As my silent tears engulf me,
Leaving me numb after every storm...
Now i stand in the wind and rain,
Recollecting every moment from the very world i am from...
As i see those smiles so painfully clear,
And lament each memory which never fails to sear...
Every feeling as thick as poison
Slowly choking as i realise its not real...
Every sensation as storng as fission,
Breaking my wounded heart into a thousand more pieces...

This very moment, i want to forget...
Just this once, i do not want to regret...
I want to void my mind of the people of my world,
And feel, as a lone soul, the storm the skies herald...
Standing at what seems like the edge of the cliff,
As my body balances between death and life...
As the storm decides whether i fly away like the dove,
Or remain beneath and hunt for the trove...

As the warm tears stream down my cheeks...
Camouflaged amidst the dorplets of rain...
As a warm path down the pale face...
As the sharp streaks scar my face, numbing every feel of pain...

Unable to contain the pent up fury...
I scream, incoherently, indefinitely, coarsely...
Scream as all pain sears to its maximum throb...
Now on my knees, exhausted of all power,
Screaming so loudly, even the Gods bend over...
From their abode above, to see what the matter...

Drained as i am, face in my palm,
Letting out the final tears, and now, finally, much more calm...
As i sat there, just as a lonely soul,
Finally taking in the atmosphere around me...as the winds howl...
The chill droplets of the mild blizzard, healing me with the cool...
My questions still unanswered,
My fears still unconquered,
I resurrect from all those gashes,
Just as the mighty phoenix reborns from its ashes...
To look forward to a beautiful winter morning...

My Idea for a Better Life...

"Dust thou art, To dust returnest...Was not spoken of the soul..." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow...

Must be wondering why i started off this post of mine with one of Wadsworth's verses...thats because the basic principle of life IS this...
life is a mere illusion...and when we take a sneak-peek into life with a wee bit of greater detail, we shall even discover that pain itself is false...suffering is just mind-sets...inferiority is nowhere in the picture...but where did all this start???
we go millions of years back...to the beginning of the animal era...after algae finished establishing the mammal population...where from did we humans come up and out??? it was perhaps the lowest and the bottommost species of one particular family of apes whcich lacked even the power of a donkey to carry load...but what made them rise forth???
God felt bad for his partiality and slowly...he implanted the circumstance for these handful of ape-hopefuls to use something He gifted them with...the BRAIN. at this stage, God did this in a very smart and liberal way - he knew every other organism had a gift...he was happy to grant this one special gift to these ape-hopefuls.
but was only the bestowing of the gift enough??? every other organism had the same mechanism...but what was so special in this bunch of "ape-hopefuls" that they could manipulate through??? competition and the urge to do more, the fury of being the lowest, the agony of not having a gift[they hadnt perceived the gift God gave them yet at this stage] and the disgust of dependance made them break away form the usual trends.
the discovery of fire and wheel...yes, we all know that...but did we study about the discovery of anger? the invention of fear? the rise of jealousy? the urge for over-achievement? "survival of the fittest means competition!!!"-you will protest...but is it competition in terms of helplessness and the need for survival or competition in terms of greed, envy and selfishness?
perhaps everything went well till humans were "Homo erectus" and "Homo neanderthalensis". when these 'humans' reached "Homo sapein"-ship was when the actual problem began. new to the society and ammateur at heart, who could teach them the art of meditation???
perhaps everything went well till these bunch of "special" organisms started a definite method of communication. when they started judging each other for the appropropriate jobs they did and segregation of jobs to make life easier, they actually sowed the seeds for their difficulties of mingling against discrimination today.
after a period of time, they began taking pride in their work and started discriminating the other folk of the jobs they did, though, on comparing efforts, everything seemed to show practically minor differences. they became so staunch, that there were the formation of umpteen sects, divisions, clans, families, and many more!!!
sometimes the end-result of curiosity leads to pain...pain inculcates fear...fear leads to dread and disgust...disgust leads to superiority and inferiority complexes...complexes leads to discrimination...discrimination leads to non-cooperation and today, the world's greatest problem is non-cooperation and war. what started off as a minor mistake becomes so huge that it reaps world-wide attention...may look hyperbolish...but i am afraid it's true...

we humans were capable of something as great as evolution from a low-bred primate to the highest and the most honoured and looked-up-at organism today. but why arent we capable of peace and harmony? satisfaction and contentment? joy and serenity?
why?

i repeat the clause i said at the starting of this post of mine..."God sent us here to live a happy life"...is this the human's idea of happiness??? when we were gifted with so great a brain which can manipulate straight into another organism's functioning and working, why do we use these powers only for negative things? work towards a happier life and cooperation for peace. our world is breaking up and is almost confetti for the birthday of setan's wrath on earth...we humans could go to this extent of destruction, we can reverse it. impossible is nothing and what we perceive is what we see. when we think the world is dead, you're right. but, we humans are known for our hope...there is always a small flame of hope, which is VERY feeble...but EVEN HARDER to extinguish, and this flame will not extinguish until the end of days. its upto we powerful humans to make up our minds...

think positive, work, pursue, protect, cooperate, lead, love, save, and believe[not in pixie dust, but in you], go green, thereby rekindle the flame of hope...and see this weeping mother's tears be wiped away.....

The Many People Of This Funny Thing Called 'LIFE'...

Apparently life is what we take it as...

The Optimist:
To you, life is a game, a challenge, and a passion. You are ready for ANYTHING atall. You are never exhausted by life's wear-and-tear...infact, you are the fountain of energy which fills in new hope into everyone. You are such an out-going personality, extrovertial, sometimes hypocratic, but according to you, all you do is for the "greater-good".

The Pessimist:
To you, life is a commitment, a pull-down; past is a vague collection of avoidable memories; the future is something of bearly any required thought. The present is where you preside. And the present is what you try altering, sometimes successfully, sometimes, with fruitless results. The world is not of any guarantee to you, and you are willing to trust noone but your soul. You actually are the moderators of this world. Your quality brings down, checks and controls the out-going of the optimists. The pessimists can bring the optimists down from the clouds, when their head sometimes gets stuck there.

The Philosopher:
To you folks, life is righteoussness and wisdom. Life is a dream, a Beautifully decorated and florid dream which tells you the pro's and con's of life. You are a little bit of the optimist and a little bit of the pessimist. But you are practically in love with life and its portals and simply cannot stop ardently admiring the many phases of it. You are born to discover and broadcast yourself. your opinions may make the least sense, but that is of the least botheration to you. Leave it to the optimists and pessimists, they will handle it!!! For you, it is all about moving on and further...and further...and further...

The Artist:
To you folks, life is art and imagination. Your life is filled with soo much colour. You NEED materials, or you go cranky and mad and lose your minds with ideas!!! You have the inborn talent...a gift rather, to speak your minds. You have the boon of visualization, and you can see spectacular and fantastic things, sometimes, things other may not be able to perceive even exists!!! [please dont judge me wrong by the literal meaning, look and think deeply about my words, you'll understand what i mean]. You folks can see into the finest details for hours together of an old and torn canvas which others may perceive as an old peice of rubbish, fit to be in the trash can. You can perceive beauty in anything and everything, and can feel even inexistent emotions which the layman may classify as sheer-folly...all in all...you are beautiful-minded people whose presence in this world helps the philosophers show their roles...

The Spiritual:
You people are the messengers of the Gods of this busy world. You can connect with the innermost and the Supreme and interpret the different vibes in the atmosphere at a current moment. You are as gifted and as talented as all 4 types of people i have described above. You are optimistic and pessimistic at the same time, with a little bit of philosophy and a little bit of a wandering mind, but you are the ones with Principles. Principles which, perhaps, if this world follows, will make this Earth 7th Heaven. You can look deep into one's eyes and tell them what they are all about. You may even be psychic...who knows??? Try predicting the weather for once-take upt he job of the meteorologists, only, without any instrument, but your spirituality...

The Practical:
Deeply rooted and earth-bound, you are those extremely obedient children of life as you follow the flow of life without trying to wander away or change what's what. You believe that if something is meant to happen to you, it will. You are basically of the happy-go-lucky kind and follow the live-and-let-live policy. You are very straight-forward and strict, in some cases. You know where to draw your boundaries, and where your limits lie. You can be summarised to be the actual role-model of this world.

The Sophisticated:
You are the luxurious and lavish ones. You need a royal lifestyle, filled with grandeur. If not grandeur, you need exaggerated comforts. Instead of one deoderant, you'll buy atleast three. You are the consumers of this world, and i bet none of the other folks will survive if you fail to play your roles. You know you are lavish, but, WHO CARES??? You need your satisfaction, and your thirst for satisfaction is what the world's leading businessmen fight for!!!

The Businessman:
Even the competiton found in a class of only topping students won't match the competition amongst the people of your kind!!! Tell me you don't expect profit in even one thing and i will bravely dip my leg upto my knee in a pond infested with piranhas!!! You are the provider-folk. Without you, all clients will reel in confusion as to whom they should satisfy their needs from. You people can be termed the "Realists" as you know practicality and sensebilities to the highets degree. Maybe all businessmen are practical people??? who knows???

The Callow:
If you think the world can function without this lot, you are massively mistaken...they are the true souls of this wide community. Without the quality of the wandering mind of these people, no artists would have been able to crack out a painting, no philosopher would have had the chance to show their role and no optimist or pessimist would have any roles then. Without them, it is like a food web without any producer, there is no possible food-webs as such!!! When there are callow folk, there is the need for education, where philosophers come into play and the web continues...

All in all, in conclusion, i know this is a BIG post...[=D]...hahaha...

EXAMINATIONS...NOT A JUDGE OF YOUR POTENTS AND CAPABILITIES!!!

I remember a very funny incident…

We had arrived early to the cinema hall to watch a Tamil movie. We were just about to enter the hall when we saw the horror-struck people of a newly released horror movie were coming past our queue. Amused as I was, I had enquired a lady, maybe in her mid-twenties, about the movie. She described that it was about a family of ghosts haunting an old mansion, and the inhabitants, with an expression that suggested that she let her imagination soar too much and that the ghosts actually zoomed from the 2-D world of the screen into the 3-D world of we humans, and tried to throttle her. I am not exactly very interested in horror movies, so I bid that lady a nice evening and proceeded to our film.
The following week saw my performance in NTSE scholarship examination. We had to write our examination in another institution where I could meet up with many other students from other institutions. I did socialize, quite only upto an extent, owing to my fancy for solitaire. After the examination, I stepped out to see many faces of students having the same expression on the face like that lady I met, only, a little more tenser than the original.
Now I am not looking down upon those students as I myself bore such an expression, though not so tense, but yes, somewhere like that kind of dazed, confused, scared, flabbergasted and literally defeated look. Even now, I am amazed at that immediate functioning of our nerves and response-to-stimuli organs that we ourselves assume that expression!!! What started off as a mere statistical analysis and manipulation of a student’s academic performance just to tell the student what lacks and what strengths the student possesses has now become a future-altering terrorizing scandalizing and heart-breaking melodramatic horror story which squeezes your intestines, agitates the butterflies in your tummy, activates the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves, sends your blood pressure soaring, etc etc etc. but the funny part here is that whatever we do, however we feel, whoever sets it, or whoever you may be, it is STILL a test.
Examinations are ONLY simple tests which check your grasping ability and what you need to improve. It’s a passion for quite a few people but for many else, it’s the experience of entering a dimly lit room in which there is a blood-thirsty unleashed monster which hasn’t been fed on time. It may look hilarious but unfortunately, the caricature I described now is very true…again I repeat, examinations are only tests to understand where you lack. They are NOT something that decides your fates. What we take it in is what we see it as.
Now we can check our speed at Math, our talent of assumption at Physics, our analyzing smartness at Chemistry, our philosophy at English, and even our patriotism in History, but we cannot discover our true potent via tests. We cannot check our outspokenness, our attitude, our self-confidence, our ambitiousness, or even our style in written tests. In all, only half our personality and character is shown in tests, nothing more. Life’s a long journey full of hurdles and depressions. Now what you find in your path is what your academics teaches you, with what attitude and confidence you approach those many obstacles is what you acquire…on your own and with no one’s help. Your academics teach you the many principles of life; you develop how to implement them…its like people teach you how to write, but you are the one who decides later on what you write.
We needn’t shudder at the thought of facing the exams. In my opinion, it’s just another one of those worksheets which our primary teachers used to give us to learn what we should do to improve those weak areas. It is, in fact, a passion I have developed through time, like how I outgrew crying when I realized how nice school was…
We have abilities we don’t even dream of. We need more than realization for this. We need visualization as well. We need confidence and we need mental-power. Don’t tag yourselves a loser with your marks. People who haven’t even studied at all excel in their professions. Writing examinations is a knack of knowing what to write when where and how. What you need is the mind to understand, the will to succeed, the thirst for knowledge, and the courage to face anything that comes by your way. God will take care of the rest. Have hope, have faith in yourself and the Almighty above, and in no time will you realize that the Almighty whose abode, which we perceive has been in the skies, was actually in your heart, and it is YOU who make your luck and none other but you who has all the potentials… don’t let examinations judge you!!! You should realize that the tests are only long sheets of 2-D paper, but not 3-D ghosts like what the people of the horror-film, I described above, thought!!!


mind you dear readers, i have only publicised MY opinions and views to this topic, and i could have written about many other things, but i chose to write this because i felt, with today's trend, this was most important than what i did in my summer holidays...[=)]


PLEASE comment on this post...and do poll in your feedback on how i can improve on my blogs...
thank you readers!!!